Ok, I figured it out.  Most bizarre thing ever.  I had gone into Roles and installed ASP.NET 4.5, asp, asp.net 2.0, 3.5, everything.  It did flag a yellow error saying something about the software install not being on the disk, but I clicked Install anyway and it let it go through.  I read someone that it has to go and get it via the Internet because it is not in the software distribution...probably because you blink your eyes and there is a new version.

 

Then when it was done, I could see asp.net 4.5 was available in IIS and I could also see that asp.net 4.0+ was installed at c:\windows\microsoft.NET\framework & framework64.  HOWEVER, having said all that it was NOT actually correctly or completely installed.  When I went back through the role manager to see if there was something I didn't install that I need to asp.net 4.5 was once again "unchecked".  I checked it off a second time and this time didn't get the yellow error and it went all the way through. Good old MicroCrap.