I am glad to hear you were able to get in touch with Microsoft on this. In the meantime, you should be able to set that up, yes. You can configure your old server as an Outgoing Gateway in SmarterMail, then configure the primary domain on the new server to use that outgoing gateway. You may also need to whitelist the IP of your new server on the old server so it doesn't require it to authenticate before relaying through.
Kyle Kerst
System/Network Administrator
SmarterTools Inc.
(877) 357-6278
www.smartertools.com